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My very kind sister-in-law was the one who went to the skilled nursing facility and collected Mom’s belongings after she passed in January of last year. We donated her clothing to the facility so that left only framed photos, Mom’s personal care items, her Bible and her purse. After the funeral, my brother and sister-in-law gave me the cardboard box of her belongings.

It’s funny, many people do this, but no one talks about how it feels to go through a loved one’s things after they die. I had spent the previous year going through my parent’s house and selling or donating the items family members didn’t want to keep. At first, I felt like a trespasser in their home, and there were some days I would start going through items and the memories would overwhelm me and I would have to stop.

It’s an honor to be entrusted with the job of disposing of someone’s possessions after they’re gone but it’s also a very difficult task to do.  To make it manageable, I had to break it down by going through one room at a time and spend only one day of each weekend working there. It took me almost a year to complete.

When I was handed the cardboard box with the last of my mom’s earthly possessions, those same feelings came flooding back. It was more than I could deal with so soon after her passing. In fact, it was months after Mom passed before I could go through that box. And then, it was a couple more weeks after I went through everything else in the box before I could even think about touching her purse.

When I was finally ready, I pulled the purse out of the box and recognized it immediately. It was the black leather bag I had bought Mom for her birthday five or six years before. I bought it at Kohl’s months before her birthday that year because I knew it was her style. She had been thrilled with the gift.

Mom always carried a big purse because years ago, she was the one that had everything but the kitchen sink in her bag. Remember the old bridal shower game where you have a list of common (or not so common) items and the woman who has the most items from the list in her purse is the winner?  Well, Mom always won that game. Need a tape measure or a screwdriver, yep, she had one. Need a lighter or some hard candy, a deck of cards or a Band-Aid, or a cigarette, check. Need a tissue or some hand lotion or a notebook or denture cream or a sewing kit, a pencil or a pen, some Tylenol…yep, Mom had them all in her bag.

A purse is such a personal item for a woman and Mom never went anywhere without hers. Growing up, I was taught to never get into Mom’s purse without her permission. As I held the purse up, I said, “I hope I have your permission to do this, Mom.” I had no idea what I might find but I opened her purse and looked inside.

I pulled out her pretty burgundy wallet first. She had an expired driver’s license and a few expired credit cards. There was no paper money in the dollar bill slot but there were a few coins in the change compartment. There was also a little business card sized card with hearts and flowers on it that said, “What you are is God’s gift to you, What you become is your gift to God.”

After I went through her wallet, I dumped the rest of the items in her purse out on the carpet. There was a pair of round rimmed hippie sunglasses in a case that I had never seen before, a tube of her favorite Revlon lipstick, some old striped hard candy, some folded unused tissues, a travel sized bottle of hand lotion, two hairbrushes, and a small round wooden disk that said “Tuit” on the face.

There definitely wasn’t as much in there as there used to be but I laughed when I saw the wood disk and remembered the time, she had handed it to me and asked if I had ever gotten a round tuit! In the old days, there would have been at least two packs of cigarettes in her bag, but she had stopped smoking years before.

I shredded the credit cards, and I ended up donating her purse, her wallet, and the hippie sunglasses. I threw away the old candy and both hairbrushes, but I kept her lipstick. She had worn that brand and color for years and it was a nice reminder of her. Going through Mom’s purse was the final thing I was able to do for her, and while it gave me some closure, I still miss her every single day.

A few years ago, I was with my adult children, and we were talking about different kinds of writers and writing. One of my sons reads everything that Stephen King writes. I commented that I like to read his work if it doesn’t terrify me, and that I especially loved his book about writing. (For those of you who may not know, it’s called “On Writing” and in my opinion, is one of the best books about what it takes to be a writer.)

At that point, one of my other children commented, “Your books are so wholesome; you couldn’t write dark if you tried.” I laughed (hoping it was said in jest) and said, “Oh, is that what you think? Because I could write dark but I choose not to do so.” I want to write fun books that are entertaining and uplifting for people and stay away from the dark side of human nature. Again, it’s a choice.

My brother, Brian, is ten years younger than me. He is big on the subject of choices. He told me once that when his kids were growing up, he talked with them about choices. He told them they could make good choices or bad choices…it was up to them. He told them, “You must understand that there are implications and consequences to the choices you make. Only you can decide if it’s worth making that choice.”

Every single day, we can make hundreds or thousands of choices. Some only affect us but others have far-reaching consequences. Some choices are pretty mundane. Will I have coffee this morning? Which route will I take to work? What will I have for lunch? What will I do on the weekend?

Other choices are not so cut and dried…or easy. Will I show up for a person who is having a hard time and be compassionate or will I turn my back on them because I don’t like the choices they make? Will I be fair and reasonable in my conversations at work or will I be judgmental and think I know better than everyone else? Will I be kind with my comments on social media or will I insult other people? Will I cheat on my taxes, or will I be honest? Will I be accountable when I make a mistake, or will I try to blame someone else? Will I be polite to wait staff and leave a tip or will I be rude and demanding and find no value in the service I receive? Will I follow through and do what I say I will do? Will I approach each day with gratitude for all it brings or will I drag myself out of bed with a bad attitude? (They used to call this getting up on the wrong side of the bed.)

Recently, I was driving in my new city that has many roundabouts. I misjudged the direction a car was going and accidently pulled out in front of someone. (I’m still getting used to driving in those darn roundabouts.) The man in the car I pulled out in front of (made a choice and) laid on his horn and make it abundantly clear to me that I had screwed up, and he did not appreciate it one bit. At that moment, I made the choice to pay closer attention and sent up a short prayer that the person in the car would have a better day. My younger self would probably have honked back and might even have made a gesture. I think I’m making better choices these days.

I have a friend in Texas and whenever she is with other people at a meeting or in a social setting and everyone is leaving, she calls after them and says, “Make good choices.” This moment of levity makes me (and everyone else) laugh every time but what a nice reminder.

Part of what we decide by the choices we make is the kind of person we want to be.

Earlier this year, I read a book that has helped me with the more difficult choices I make and so I want to share it with you. It’s called “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz and was written in 1997. In his book, Ruiz says there are four agreements or guidelines to living which will help us live a life based on love and hopefully to make good choices.

1.Be Impeccable with your word.

2.Don’t take anything personally.

3.Don’t make assumptions.

4. Always do your best.

I have these hanging on the side of my refrigerator so I will see them every day.

Why is this important? Because the choices we make each day affect us and they also have an effect on the people in our lives…family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, social media connections.

I’d love to hear your tips for making good choices from anyone who reads this post. Have a good week and remember to make good choices!

A media Easter egg is a message, image or feature hidden in software, a video game, a film, or a book. This post is about the Easter eggs hidden in my six books.

As an author, part of the fun of getting to work directly with my illustrator, Vicki Killion Guess, is that we have gotten to know one another. After six books together, when one of us explains an idea, the other one gets it. I always have a picture in my mind of how I see the books illustrated and Vicki is incredible at making the types of images in my mind become reality. We work together on picture concepts before she begins her drawing and painting magic.

I’m going to take you through our six books in order of publication and tell you about the fun secrets hidden in each one.

The Button Box (2014)

This is my only book that is a completely true story from my life. I wrote the story for a local “personal memoir” writing contest in Kalamazoo, Michigan and it won first place in the contest. After it was published in the local newspaper on Christmas Day of 2001, people wrote me notes and letters about how the story had touched their hearts and said they thought I should turn it into a book. I told Vicki I saw this book illustrated in vivid true colors and gave her a box of the eight original Crayola Crayons.

*The buttons pictured on the cover throughout the book are actual buttons found in my family button box.

*The quilt pictured in the book was hand quilted for me by my mom when I was a teenager. I still have it today and sometimes take it to book events.

*The information for the “Short History of Buttons” in the back of the book is from the National Button Society website. I’ve been a NBS member for 12 years.

*” The Button Box” is in its third printing.

Which Came First? (2016)

This story is based on a day at my grandmother’s farm when I was a girl. She really did make me keep going back until I had gathered the eggs. Vicki asked for a picture of me at age ten and painted the girl in the story from that picture. I told Vicki that I saw the illustrations for this book as less serious and more like cartoons. Vicki said she watered down the acrylic paint to give the illustrations a more whimsical look.

*Many of the items in the outside pictures are from my memories of my grandmother’s farm…the mop and bucket on the back porch, the clothesline, the sideways painted tractor tire used for a flower bed, the apple tree behind the house with the dog sleeping under it, the chickens and ducks wandering around the backyard.

*Vicki hid a mouse in the outside illustrations for kids to find…even on the front and back covers. (She painted a cat inside the house.)

*Vicki surprised me by painting both the button box and the quilt from our first book in Grandma’s living room.

*Graphic designer, Crystal Wood, had the idea for the chicken wire as background on the cover and on the inside pages. It was also her idea to use the bandana border at the bottom of the pages. (I really did wear bandanas when I was a girl.)

*My grandmother named her roosters, and Pretty Boy was one of them. Others were named Foghorn Leghorn, Elvis and Jerry Lee Lewis.

*For the Fun Facts About Chickens after the story, Vicki painted egg points instead of using bullet points for each one.

The Day The Turkey Came To School (2017)

This story is based on a true event when an actual turkey showed up at my kid’s elementary school one school day. I didn’t intend for it to be a Thanksgiving story, but it has become very popular with teachers in November.

*The elementary school on the cover is from a picture of Angling Road Elementary in Portage, Michigan where my children attended elementary school.

*Vicki painted some of our family members in the crowd illustrations. She painted my daughter, Anna, my son, Ryan, my daughter-in-law, Paige, and my grandson, Graham, as well as her own grandchildren in the book.

*The teacher, Mrs. Thompson, is based on my daughter-in-law, Paige Thompson Sever who is a teacher.

*Turkey footprints were used instead of bullet points for the Turkey Trivia after the story.

The Halloween Scare (2021)

This was our quickest book to finish and was all kinds of fun for us to create! I wanted to write an entertaining Halloween story that would not be scary for kids. My goal was to stress the fun aspects of Halloween…the dressing up and getting candy and being with friends…in addition to telling what would scare the spooky characters of Halloween.

*Graphic designer, Crystal discovered the spooky font for the words.

*Vicki painted all of our grandchildren in the trick-or-treater pictures. I’ve had two more grandchildren since this book was published.

The Christmas Church (2022)

This book is my first one for adults and is very special to me. It’s a Christmas story with a love story inside of the bigger story. I wrote it during the pandemic when so many of us were losing dear loved ones. It’s about those who impact our lives with their love and the things they leave with us even after they are gone.

*I asked Vicki if she could make the pictures look like memories and to achieve this, she illustrated this book with watercolor paints. I think the result is stunning.

*The Christmas church on the cover was created over 100 years ago by my great-grandfather and was passed down in the family to me.

*The Christmas church is lighted, and the wind-up music box still plays “Silent Night”.

*The house on the first page is a painting of my great-grandparent’s house on Jackson Boulevard in Elkhart, Indiana.

*The painting of the framed photo on the wall in the sun parlor is from a real photo of my brother, Jeff, and me that my grandmother had.

*The night in the attic really did happen with my grandmother when I was ten years old. Vicki surprised me and painted the button box in the attic illustration.

*The face of the grandmother is based on a picture of my own grandmother.

*The hands holding the shepherd from the nativity scene were painted from a picture of my mother’s hands holding the shepherd. She was delighted to pose for me!

*My great-grandparents really were George and Amelia (Millie) Parker and George really was an inventor who created beautiful gifts for his family.

Love Hearts (2023)

This was my sixth book and came about because of something I used to say to my children when they were small: “Do you see the love hearts coming from my eyes to you?” I wanted to write a story for younger kids about love and about all the people in our lives who we love and who love us in return.

*I dedicated this book to the three grandchildren I had at the time.

*Vicki added some humor to the story by having the dog in each illustration showing love hearts for various random things and people.

*The grandmother in the story is reading the book, “Love Hearts” to her grandchildren.

*If you look closely, you will also see references to our other five books throughout this one.

Recently, I went to the store specifically for sympathy cards and I bought a stack of them. I guess I’ve reached that age. I remember when my mom was alive, there was a point where she said the scales had tipped and there were more people who she loved in heaven than there were loved ones left here on Earth. I don’t think I’m even close to that point yet, but recently parents of some of my friends have died and I’ve lost some of my older friends from my years working at Lake Forest Village, and some of my older generation family members too…so I needed cards.

I’m kind of picky about sympathy cards. I don’t care for the ones that have lots of words. I want a nice simple sentiment that isn’t too long so that I can write a personal note to the person. I know that when my own parents died, I really appreciated the personal notes written in the cards.

I haven’t talked or written much about the deaths of my parents that occurred during the last two years. I guess because it’s still so fresh and raw in my mind and heart. Even though they were in their 80’s both deaths happened very quickly and were not expected. Losing a parent feels like a punch in the stomach. One of my cousins said after both of her parents died, “To not have parents…at any age…is very untethering.” And I would agree.

Grief affects each of us in different ways. When my brother died almost 20 years ago, I cried for weeks and couldn’t sleep at night. I talked with my other brother every single day for a year because we both needed comfort from talking with someone else who had loved our deceased brother.

But this time, after each of my parents died, grief had an odd impact on me that I didn’t expect. Writing has always been my “go to” behavior. If I’m stressed about something, I write. If I have a problem to work through, I write. If I’m really happy about something, I will write.  Many writers talk about having writer’s block but that is not something I’ve ever experienced. I can always write. It’s the easiest thing in the world for me to do. However, since my parents both died, I haven’t felt much like writing. I think I’ve been so sad that the joy I receive from writing has simply felt out of my reach. My keyboard began to gather dust for the first time…ever.

During the last two years, I’ve written two stories. One was “Mary’s Front Door” that I shared with you on this blog last week. The other is a story that may or may not become a book someday. We shall see. Blogging again is helping me get back into a writing routine. It’s also helping me remember how much I love words and stringing them together into sentences that become something worth reading.

Thank you to those of you who take the time to read this blog. I appreciate the support and especially your comments about my posts. Next week, I plan to share with you some of the “Easter eggs” that are included in each of my books. Some were put there intentionally, and others were added as a surprise to me by my illustrator and dear friend, Vicki Killion Guess. All of them made the books more fun!

3/7/25

Author’s note: Some of you know that I really haven’t felt much like writing since my mom passed a year ago. This is a sweet little piece I wrote last November about how those small things we do can often have a huge impact on others. I hope you enjoy it!

Mary’s Front Door

The first sign I ever saw on Mary’s front door said, “I think I’ll just be HAPPY today.” I was working as a manager at an independent retirement community, and I was on my way to check on another resident when I walked past Mary’s door that day.

I knew that Mary was in her late 80’s and was grieving the recent loss of her husband of many years. She was like many of the residents of our community who were dealing with the losses of spouses and friends, as well as the health issues and challenges that come with age. I stopped for a moment and considered the words on her door. If Mary could choose to be happy, then so could all of us! After all, wasn’t happiness a choice?

A little farther down the hallway I saw one of the maintenance men for the community. I asked if he had seen the sign on Mary’s door. He said he had. “I try to go by her door at least once a week to see what the signs say. The things she puts out there encourage me, especially when I’m having a difficult week.”

Many of our residents decorated their doors and I hadn’t noticed that Mary put up a new and encouraging sign every week. But after that day, I made a point of walking past her door at least once a week and her signs always made me smile. I learned that other staff members knew about Mary’s signs and also walked past her door for a weekly dose of encouragement.

In the weeks that followed, the signs on Mary’s door said things like, “Let’s make today amazing” and “The best is yet to be” and my very favorite, “If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit.” Hanging the signs on her door was such a small gesture each week but it had such a big impact on our community of residents and staff.

Mary was a retired elementary school teacher, and I could only imagine how many hundreds of young lives she had inspired and encouraged during her career. In spite of her own sadness, she was still finding a way to encourage the people around her.

One day, I was scheduled to complete Mary’s annual apartment inspection for needed repairs and when I got to her door, the sign said, “Life’s little moments make the best memories.” After I completed her apartment inspection, I asked Mary about her signs and she said she thought they would be a good reminder for her neighbors to keep moving forward and to have a good outlook and not give up, no matter what kinds of things they were dealing with in their lives. I asked if she knew that staff members also walked past her door to see what encouraging note she had out each week. She smiled and said she hadn’t been aware of that.

Later that day back in my office, I received a call from Mary. She said, “I’ve been thinking about our earlier conversation. I started putting out my signs to encourage others but the responses I’ve received about the signs are helping me with my grief. Finding new signs to encourage others continues to help me too. I have to do this for me, but I love the smiles and comments I receive about my signs. Sometimes, I get notes from people I don’t even know because they saw one of my signs and then we end up becoming friends.”

As the weeks and months passed, I noticed that Mary would reuse some of the same signs with new ones thrown in the mix now and then. Both staff and residents would make a point of passing Mary’s door each week to read signs that said things like: “You are my sunshine” “When words fail music speaks” and “This is the day that the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it.”

At Easter, Mary’s door had a sign that said, “Every bunny Welcome.” A week or two after Easter, I was in my local Hobby Lobby and I saw a sign that made me think of Mary’s front door, so I bought it for her. It was bordered with flowers and said, “It’s your time to bloom.” Without knocking, I left it in the mailbox outside her door. The following week, when I passed her door, the new sign I had left for her was hanging there.

It’s been about four years since I saw that first sign on Mary’s front door. And yes, Mary is in her 90’s now and she is still hanging a sign on her door every week. I teased her recently about her sign collection and she said she might need a bigger apartment to house them all!

The most recent sign I saw on Mary’s door said, “If you can be anything, be kind.” Yes indeed, Mary, yes indeed.

Originally posted on 2/27/25.

Writing Rituals

My favorite quote about writing comes from the late journalist, Gene Fowler.  He said, “Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper (or in our case, a computer screen) until drops of blood form on your forehead.” 

People will often come up to me at book signings and say something like, “I want to write a book.” To which I will say, “Have you written it on paper or on a computer yet?”  Normally, the answer will be something like, “No, but I have the whole book in my head.”

I do believe that most people have at least one great story in their heads and could write a book if they were so inclined. With today’s self publishing vehicles, it’s never been so easy for anyone to publish their own book. Just to clarify, writing is not easy but self publishing can be. In the future, I will do some posts on self publishing in the event that any of you plan to write a book and you need some ideas for where to begin.

Here’s what I know.  To be a writer, you have to write and you have to love the challenge of getting the written word just right.  Everyone has a story they could tell.  The difference between writers and non-writers, is that writers are absolutely driven to write that story whether it’s for themselves, for their families, for the masses, or simply for posterity.  Writers have to write.

One of the tools that many writers use, are writing rituals.  A writing ritual is a deliberate, conscious, repetitive behavior that has personal meaning and helps the writer get into a good mental place for writing.

The point of using rituals, is to allow the writer to become more creative and productive.  Going through the writing rituals each time, signals to the brain that it’s time to write and hopefully will allow the writer to get to that creative place where the words flow easily.

Examples of writing rituals might be things like:

*writing at the same time each day when you feel the most creative or productive

*clearing the clutter from your writing space before you begin

*setting a timer so you will write for a certain amount of time

*turning on a certain kind of music before or while you write

*saying a prayer or meditating

Many famous writers had or have writing rituals.

Charles Dickens needed complete quiet to write and had a second door built on the outside of his study to give him an extra layer between himself and the rest of his household.  He also would take a walk before he wrote.

A number of other famous authors…Mark Twain, George Orwell, Edith Wharton, and Truman Capote did their writing in bed on legal pads.  They felt they wrote better in a horizontal position.

John Cheever liked to write in his underwear.

Ernest Hemingway liked to write while standing.

Maya Angelou would check into a hotel room with a dictionary, a Bible, a deck of cards, and a bottle of sherry and would work from 7:00 in the morning until 2:00 in the afternoon.

John Milton would read from the Bible for half an hour every morning before he began writing.

Stephen King writes every single day of the year without exception. He has a daily writing quota of 2000 words and rarely allows himself to quit until he’s reached his goal.

One of my favorite writers, Kate DiCamillo, always has lots of coffee and a string of festive lights on in her writing room.

A few years ago, my husband and I visited the home in Mansfield, Missouri of author, Laura Ingalls Wilder, who wrote the Little House on the Prairie Books.  We took a guided tour of her home and I was looking forward to seeing where she did her writing.  I was shocked to find that she wrote all of her books while sitting in the living room in an oak chair with very wide wood arms that her husband had built for her.  She didn’t write her first book until she was 64 years old, and she wrote them all on legal pads in that chair.

I asked a few of my prolific writer friends if they have any writing rituals. 

Fred Funk told me that he writes all of his books in longhand while kicked back in his recliner.

Randy Schmidt said his best writing time is between midnight and 6:00 a.m.  He says it works best in the summer when he isn’t teaching school.

Chad Healy likes to write late at night with the TV on.  He said his years of teaching school taught him to block out the ambient noise but somehow the noise from the TV helps to keep him focused.

My writing rituals involve a lot of coffee and a quiet house.  I also say a prayer and read through the Bible verse that I have taped to the top of my computer monitor:

“Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14 

As award-winning author and friend, Jan Sikes, told me one time, “Every writer has to figure out what works for them!”

Originally posted on 2/20/25.

Look for the Helpers

We are living in a time of great uncertainty and terrifying events. It can be overwhelming at times. I find I hold my breath before I turn on the news each day. Will I hear of yet another natural disaster in our country…more fires, floods, tornadoes or hurricanes? Will there be another plane crash with loss of lives? Will more people lose their jobs? Will another country be invaded?

It’s difficult to keep our equilibrium and go about living our daily lives in the face of so much human suffering. What can we do? How can we help?

There’s a fairly well-known quote by Fred Rogers…yes, of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood… that goes like this:

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of disaster, I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers…so many caring people in this world.”

This is my answer and it can be yours as well. We must look for the helpers and be the helpers and keep doing good. You may not think one small thing done for another could make a difference. But it does. And, it adds up and makes our world better and stronger. I have found that when I do something for others, I often get more out of it than they do.

Last week, we took three boxes of food to a local food pantry that is run by a church in our community. We actually dropped the food off during the time that people were coming for their weekly food pickups. The line of waiting cars snaked around the perimeter of the church parking lot and there were maybe 25-30 in line when we arrived.

Volunteers were talking with people in the first three cars and loading groceries into trunks and back seats. It was cold but people were smiling and pleasant. When we took our donation inside, there were more volunteers busily packing grocery bags. They said it had been a busy morning so far. They said they appreciated our donation. Seeing the need and all the “helpers” made us want to do more. We plan to take another food donation next week.

But helping others doesn’t have to cost money. This morning, my husband, Jeff, shoveled our driveway and sidewalk yet again this winter. Then, I saw him go next door and shovel our 91-year-old neighbor’s driveway and sidewalk. She worries about getting snowed in so I know he gave her some peace of mind.

I remember when we moved from Texas to Indiana last year, we bought our house about five weeks before we actually got here. We knew the grass would be knee high and the neighbors were probably wondering what kind of slackers were going to be moving in. When we got here, we found out that two of our neighbors had mowed the grass for us. We felt so blessed knowing we had moved onto a street with such good people.

We all do what we can, however we can. If you can afford to contribute money, that is so great. If you can’t, you can always volunteer your time. If you don’t have money or extra time, there are still so many things you can do for others.

Since I cannot afford to donate to the food pantry every other week, I’ve been trying to think of other ways to help others. Here’s some ideas I had:

*I can hold the door for another person at the store, bank, restaurant, etc.

*I can check on an elderly neighbor.

*I can pray for people.

*I can donate some of my used books to a local free library.

*I can donate clothes I no longer wear to a homeless shelter.

*I can babysit for parents who need a break.

*I can say a kind word to someone who is having a bad day.

*I can compliment a service person in a store or restaurant.

*I can make a meal for someone who is home sick or who has had a baby.

*I can let someone go before me in the line at the grocery store.

*I can choose not to make snarky comments on social media.

*I can send a card or note to brighten someone’s day.

*I can mentor someone and/or teach them a new skill.

There’s a lot of ugliness in the world right now. I don’t want to be a part of that so I’m going to do my best to be a helper. Maybe some of you have more ideas for how to help? Feel free to add them in the comments.

Originally posted on 2/13/25.

Valentine’s Day

I recently Googled, “What do most people want for Valentine’s Day?” The answer was not all that surprising. People want gifts, especially chocolate and flowers, and romantic gestures and experiences with their loved ones. The top selling items for Valentine’s Day are greeting cards (Valentines) flowers, and those heart-shaped boxes of chocolates that never seem to go out of style. Of course, some people want jewelry and a big date night or a fancy trip, but most people seem to enjoy a low-key celebration. Overwhelmingly, what people really want for Valentine’s Day is to know that they are loved.

During the years I worked as the manager of an independent living retirement community, the most difficult holiday for most of our seniors was Valentine’s Day. Many of them were widows or widowers and the day brought back a flood of memories of their true loves. And, unlike the Christmas holidays where people received many visits from family members, Valentine’s Day wasn’t a big day for visitors.

The first year I worked in the community, one of our ladies carried a framed 8 x 10 photo of her deceased husband around with her all day on Valentine’s Day and showed his picture to anyone who showed an interest. After that, we tried to always have fun activities and events planned for Valentine’s Day so that no one had to feel lonely or alone.

Speaking of Valentine’s Day activities, today I had the great fun of attending my four-year-old grandson’s preschool Valentine party. The school parties haven’t changed so much over the years. The kids all brought Valentine’s to pass out to their classmates, they did a fun craft, played a Valentine game, had a heart-shaped sugar cookie for their snack and I had the honor of reading my book, “Love Hearts” for the children and their parents.

As some of you already know, “Love hearts are small bits of love that escape from our hearts and go through our eyes to someone else. Love hearts mean that someone loves you and really likes to be with you.”

No matter how you plan to spend this Valentine’s Day 2025, I hope you experience lots of love hearts and maybe some yummy chocolate too!

Originally posted on 2/5/25.

Love Notes

I recently saw a Facebook post that was a fun idea for kids for Valentine’s Day.  Starting in early February, tape a different colored paper heart to your child’s bedroom door every day.  On each heart, write something you love about your child.  By Valentine’s Day on February 14^th, your child will have a door full of hearts and of love.

Obviously, this same idea could be adapted for a spouse, a sibling, a grandparent, a boyfriend/girlfriend, a friend, a roommate, or whomever you want to feel loved.  You can’t underestimate what that kind of effort does for another’s soul.

Any totally selfless act with the goal and purpose of simply making another person feel special is a wonderful thing.  And, this kind of endeavor doesn’t have to be saved just for the holidays.

When my elderly parents were still able to live in their home, I would go over several times a week to help them. On Saturdays, my husband and I would shop for their groceries then deliver them to their house and do some cooking and cleaning for the week. One Saturday, I took heart-shaped Post-it notes and wrote “I love you mom” and hid the notes all over their house in places I thought she would find them…inside her make up drawer, inside her purse, on her night stand, in her closet, inside her bag of embroidery work, in the refrigerator, under the seat of her rollator walker, on her daily calendar, in her jewelry box, under her pill box, next to the coffee pot…

The next time I went to their house, Mom had a stack of the Post-it notes in front of her at her spot at the kitchen table. With shining eyes, she said, “I had so much fun finding these this week.” I laughed and said, “I had a lot of fun hiding them for you to find!” After she died and I was cleaning out her closet, I found one of the notes that she hadn’t found inside her house slipper. It reminded me of how we had laughed together the day she had her stack of found love notes at the table.

I have a loving and rather mischievous son who as a small boy began leaving sweet love notes on my pillow for me to find at night.   He would draw a heart and write “I love you mama” inside the lines.  It would warm my heart to find those notes right before I went to sleep.

As he grew into a young teenager, those notes became rubber snakes or insects left under my pillow or little alligators in my shower.  To this day, I hate having alligators in my shower!

Sometimes I would open the refrigerator or the microwave and find a cluster of rubber frogs.  One morning, a rubber lizard was on my coffee pot.  I could only imagine the fun my son had plotting ways to make his mama scream. 

One memorable day when he was in high school, I went outside to get into my car and found the interior of it covered in rubber lobsters…on my seat, on the steering wheel, in the back window, in the center section, seat belted in the passenger seat, in the glove box…

Once my startled screaming stopped, I would smile and know that he was just showing his love in a teenage boy kind of way.

After he left for college, I didn’t scream as often, but I sure did miss those fun moments that he brought to my life.  One day, I opened the mailbox and found a padded envelope he had sent from his college in another state.  Yep, you guessed it…along with a note thanking me for all I did for him, was a cluster of rubber monsters to let me know the fun wasn’t over yet!

Not everyone shows their love with rubber critters.  My husband knows that I have a knack for getting knots in my jewelry.  Recently, he took the knots out of my favorite necklace without my knowledge and left it beside my sink in the shape of a heart.  Not only did it make me happy that I could wear my necklace again, but he made me feel special too!

Our efforts to make other people feel special don’t have to cost money.  They can be a “hello and how are you today” to a neighbor or a co-worker,  a text letting a family member or friend know you are thinking of them, or a phone call telling someone you just needed to hear their voice.

The good connections we have with others are often what make a positive difference in our days…and in theirs.  So, who makes you feel special and what are you going to do to make someone else feel special this week?